The Divine in me

I feel that it is imperative to move towards a complete integration of what we call the divine to what people call the source, where some more religious call G*d, Christ, Jesus, the Buddha, Mohammed, Shiva, the light, the divine, WUJI anything you can call what is sacred.

What we call the core of it all, All that Is, aka consciousness. Instead of staying in a place where we are completely divided inside and out of ourselves because of ideologies, rituals, perspectives, that they don’t seem to make any more sense. So there is an urgency of integration and of inner coherence, of returning to a lived relationship with the divine that does not depend on belief systems, gurus, or meditation retreats, teachings, banners, etc.

I’m tracking a closing cycle, and I can feel that the collective tension is mirroring an internal tension that many people are carrying, where the mind tries to hold certainty, where the psyche tries to hold identity through belonging, and where the heart knows that the era of borrowed meaning is completely dissolving into dust. I would like to speak directly to that, because ideology has become the easiest way to outsource truth, and outsourcing truth creates inner division, that leads to relational division, and collective division, the cost is obvious now because it fractures people from their own intelligence and it fractures communities into endless argument without resolution, and it doesn’t allow people to connect to each other or to reconnect to their own authentic selves.

I’m writing this from my heart because I can feel that the only stable meaning right now comes from trust in the divine as an internal reality. Trust is what is coming through Source. Trust is the totality of all things. It’s all that is. Trust is the intelligence of the Creator. Trust is what lives inside the body and inside the heart and inside our soul. I am interested in this moment when we stop looking outward for permission to know what we know and we stop treating the divine as an idea that must be defended and we start living as if our consciousness is already part of the Source because the remembering reorganizes action, value, and perception without force.

A moment of full alignment.

I can feel how silence becomes intelligent in a moment like this and how the nervous system registers truth before the mind can and will explain it, and how coherence becomes a form of law that reality responds to.

Not long ago, I accepted that the first time I really felt true self love was when I witnessed my mother’s death. And throughout these last two years, I have been able to integrate and rewire my nervous system so I can totally open a space that is very flexible and caring and loving so I hold the divine in me.

This is where I want to bring people into a place where the question becomes simple and severe. What happens when I return to inner truth and allow the truth to guide my choices, my timing, my relationships, my speech, my work, and my attention?

I want the tone of this piece to hold a threshold because I am watching a collective cycle complete and I’m watching people reach for stories that keep them split. I’m also watching the possibility of a different response, which is trust as a lived orientation, trust as an inner authority, trust as the field that holds me steady when external sanity falls and breaks down.

Dream

I had a very vivid dream and it stayed in my body after I woke up, a brief scene in that liminal space between dreaming and being awake, a familiar presence, an embrace that carried weight, grief, and release, very little language, mostly feeling, mostly the kind of contact that registers in the nervous system as truth.

The way I hold dreams now comes from the same place I’m writing from, trust in the divine as an internal reality, because when I am connected to that field, dreams and insights arrive with a certain clarity and a certain timing, and then life corroborates them in simple ways, through a conversation, a tone, a confession, a reality that echoes the dream without needing interpretation.

It reminds me of how after my father died, I searched for him in books, philosophies, and journeys. In every relationship that I had, whether it’s a friendship or intimate, there was always a part of expectation, always trying to feel resonance with the other soul. This time the feeling is very gentle. It’s more complete. The dream doesn’t ask me to do anything. I don’t want to decipher it because I know it has something deeper, something continuous. It shows that something has already shifted inside of me, and it feels like it could be a closure of this 2025 without rupture, with care, without expectation.

I’ve been working a lot on that longing that I’m integrating this year, and because we’re talking about the divine, I actually ended up integrating the divine and the God in me, and the dream is so vivid because it is embodied. That urge is already within me, and I thought it was beautiful to have a dream with a familiar presence, with a friendly, profound relationship, that made me really feel very connected to the divine. So thank you. G*D.

Spiritual detanglement

Mars at 29 degrees of Sagittarius square Neptune at 29 degrees of Pisces emphasizes closure at the last degrees of Sagittarius and Pisces, and Neptune being newly direct intensifies the sense of completion. Then new moon squares Neptune, through the same dissolving field. After that, Venus squares Neptune. After that, Mercury enters the same space. This is the sequence I’m feeling as identity, value, and mind moving through one dissolving field, and it correlates with a month where the psyche cannot lean on external sanity in the same way.

On December 19th, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius at 28 degrees, squaring Neptune and Saturn, in conjunction with the Galactic Center, also approaching my South Node, and it happens one day before the solstice.

This is happening in my eleventh house, where Sagittarius has the last degrees and very close to my nodal axis. My nodal axis is 3 degrees of Capricorn, so my South Node is going to be activated first by the moon, Mars, then by the sun, then by Venus, and last by Mercury. Because Saturn and Neptune are now also squaring my Nodal axis, I think this is a moment of reckoning for me, where it actually makes sense I’m finishing my book.

Jupiter still squares Chiron. Jupiter is in Cancer retrograde, and Chiron is on my Mars, and what I’m feeling is that whatever insecurity I’ve felt before about being courageous, I’m going back to a comfortable place, the last comfortable place one has been before being alive, the mother’s womb, the environment that is safe, where one feels protected. I am starting to feel that protection, and it’s within, it’s not an ideal, it’s not a ritual, it’s more trust, trusting in God, it’s more energy.

For the next several weeks, the synthesis is here. Time to quiet out, remove myself from the main stage, keep observing past behavior and current behavior, and to synthesize from what comes within.

Around January, we’re going to see all these personal planets meeting one another, closing and starting cycles, and the numerology coincides with these relational resets. At the end of January each personal archetype will meet with Pluto in Aquarius, a collective pressure to transform how authenticity could feel. The conjunction sequencing to Aquarius culminating with contact with Pluto intensifies the evolutionary demand for clean alignment because Pluto brings consequence, death, and irreversible transformation.

The Saturn and Neptune conjunction on February 20th, right after that, frames the larger threshold as a collective restructuring of reality, meaning, and responsibility. Last time Neptune met Saturn at 10 degrees Capricorn was November 9, 1989, and that was the fall of the Berlin Wall and all the structures that represented ideologies that were born and enhanced during similar conjunctions in 1917 and 1953. History shows in cycles, humans tend to ignore the signs.

There is going to be a lunar eclipse on February 17. So from this lunation in December until the eclipse, we’re going to have an array of dissolutions, closures, tension, and actually an incredible space to evolve at our own will, at our own awareness. The sequence is beautiful because first it is a personal realization, it is an intimate reconnection to ourselves with the divine, with the creator of life, the one that generates opportunities for evolution, and then as time progresses until the conjunction of Saturn and Neptune, then it becomes a social reset where we will be completely ready for all the courage and changes that we have been able to bring forth.

Coda

If I could erase a decade, I would erase from 2009 until 2020. I’m laughing because sometimes in my iPhone some old pictures appear, and you know how they make these little movies with the pictures and they put this silly music and everything is very nostalgic, and I look at the pictures of my life with the people that were part of my life, and I go like, what the fuck was going on in my life. And I think everything started collapsing on, I will say exactly, February 2009. This is like the very beginning of a very big breakdown in my life, the nodes were on my ascendant, while bitcoin was being created, and it took so many years. It took until 2014 to actually walk out of that marriage, walk out of a situation that was unsustainable, and then from that walking out on December 19, 2014, until I moved to Miami Beach on the last day of July in 2020, it took so much courage, so much soul searching, so much of me in a good way, I’m not complaining, to just find the strength back in me and feel myself with authenticity, with generosity, with a lot of the things that I’m feeling right now. But then from 2020 until now, through the death of my mom and many other little deaths, because so many things have been dying, I made so much space for caring about myself, and most importantly, to really allow the divine to be inside of me 24/7.

So let me reframe it. I’m not going to wipe out my past. The past is past, and the deeds were there, and they all happened for a reason. What I will do eventually is accept and integrate it in my current life. Because without that pain, without that growth, without that evolution, I wouldn’t be here. All I needed was movement, and I did move. And I thank God that I did. And even the pain right now shows me where I was giving myself an allegiance to, where I was really not covering my base, where I was really looking so much for acceptance and validation, but I was not taking care of my needs. The people I chose, when I look at them, it’s incredible right now. I can thread them all in one line, and they all have the same characteristics. With me, I was unable to see what I was attracting, because I was attracting what I needed to integrate in my life. Quite interesting. So acceptance, next step. Surrender, next step.

Even though nobody, including myself, knows what’s coming, nobody knows, and there are so many charlatans out there saying this is going to happen, this is happening, and everything is still so much under the fog, so even though nobody knows what’s going to happen, there’s only one thing that is certain, and it is surrendering to one’s design. That’s it. As long as I surrender to my design and I allow the divine in me, I’m all good, and I’m very happy to say that that’s what I do now, and that’s what I didn’t do for a long time in my life.

Last but not least, though, as all these squares pass by my South Node in Capricorn, 3 degrees, they will enter at 7 degrees into my twelfth house. So at the end of the month, the Sun enters the twelfth house and all these other planets come close as well. So this is another closure. This is until probably the first week of February, when the Sun is going to rise on my ascendant. It feels like it’s time to really take time to surrender and to have this synthesis, this closure. And I totally feel like that, like not being so much out there. This is the time for revision, and I’m going to use the time for writing or putting together the last chapters of my book. Also bringing forth the energy of the future that is already seeded and is already seeing some sprouting. It’s this liminal space that I feel so familiar with, as my whole chart is very balsamic. And even Human Design, many six lines. So it’s just this moment I’m so accustomed to, as the moment of synthesis.

To yearn for the divine incarnated is the wish of my soul now and music is the best way I connect to the divine when I am not in a state of grace.

happy new moon, restart, reset.