Do you know the difference between a sacrifice and an offering?
I think we have gone a little bit cuckoo with the word sacrifice. You know, in essence, it comes from the word sacred, but it has been devoid of an important part of that sacredness that is transformational. Therefore it is lacking in full meaning.
Sacrifice is the action of consecrating. So what is it that one is consecrating without using a transformational part that has disappeared in the meaning of it? Now it reads as something you have to give up. And when you have that energy of giving up, you tend to hold on more to it.
I tune more to the word offering. I have this image of a Buddhist altar1 or even a Christian altar, and you light a candle. You offer something. You decide to become aware of what is at stake in the relationship of what you are looking at, that you are willing to extend, you are willing to care, to bring and carry forward. It is a relationship to something bigger.
So letting go is the dissolution of it, is the dissolving, is the surrendering to a new relation to yourself in those matters that comes from understanding that what you offer transforms into this new realm.
I am offering myself time as a wave that determines clarity when it has completed its function. It is not time like Kronos. It is more time like Kairos. It is the right timing so I can gain clarity. I am also offering myself space. Not a place, but leeway, in my body, my mind, a space within my emotional vessel. It is a territory I never gave myself because I felt the urgency to always be there for others.
I am not being pulled by anyone or anything at the moment. This time and space that I am offering are very balanced, slowly being absorbed. They are not judgmental. They possess no urgency. They are just there contracting and expanding.
I have been very interested in fascia work. Fascia is what holds the water in the body, and it requires some tweaking in the neck and the pelvic floor. And so this adjusting, this flow of movement is rotational. It is like the earth. We rotate around the sun. We rotate around the galaxy where we also self rotate. And we have pretty much a binary body where we have almost two of everything, with some exceptions, like the liver. The liver is the organ that detoxifies. It is also the one carrying anger. And I wonder if I have been carrying a lot of anger as a Manifestor/Initiator that needs to be expressed in a way that it does not break, but it actually informs my field of where I am not willing to do a so called sacrifice, but where I am willing to offer space for my own unfolding.
From the TCM perspective, anger is the energy of the liver, not necessarily the organ per se, but the energy of that circuitry. And in my case, it is about understanding that that anger as an emotion has the potential for evolution. If I understand its frequency as something that is driving me to move into another direction, breaking away the stagnation. Now it could be sensed as an activated reaction, or can it be initiating an awareness as a response? So that is where timing comes in. Whereas space and time expand, contract, and calibration can take place.
Fascia operates through what is called tensegrity, a word coined by Buckminster Fuller from tension and integrity. It is a structural principle that the body maintains its form not through rigid compression like a building, but through a continuous balance of tension and resistance distributed across the entire fascial network. Both the flexibility of the geometry that tensegrity brings and the crystallization of water live inside this structure, because it is a matrix inside our body that carries an emotional archive. The mechanics operate through a closed kinematic chain, mechanical loops where each part influences the position, the motion, and the stability of all the others. Kinematics is geometry in motion. The molecules of water get absorbed and at the same time dry out because there is no mobility, there is no circulation, and this membrane stops resonating with the rest of the body. And it is in that dryness, where there is no circulation, that the body keeps the score of trauma in its geometry.
This is a big question for me in these days, because I am questioning those parts of myself that need to go because they do not offer me any potential for evolution. They have served their purpose. They have emanated. They have transformed themselves. They have metabolized.
And so I am questioning my sense of value at all levels. The places where I trust blindly, the places where I mistrust behind me. The places where I could be completely wrong.
There are two words I bring right now: control and definition. How can you support and define something without having to be controlling, but be on top of it, which is different. How to create a fluid, flowing state of circulation so things do not get stagnated, and they actually serve the purpose that they are meant for, resources.
Trust. What does trust really mean? Is it just based on faith, or trust is an interior authority that emanates and connects with the source.
Trust has been reduced to faith and trust in external authority, trust in external morality, and not so much embedded in the integrity or principles of individuals that can actually yield to the human action and subjective value of people’s lives.
These are very deep, deep, deep questions that are arising right now. They do not come with fear. I want to confront them differently.
They possess no urgency nor judgment. They are just contracting and expanding like the rib cage does under the spell of a diaphragm. How to create a flowing state of circulation so things do not get stagnated, and they actually serve the purpose that they are meant for. I want to calibrate them all. I want to give them space. I want to give them space.
It is an offering, not a sacrifice.
NEW MOON IN TAURUS, NEW EMBODIMENT
This week I am venturing myself to the city of Vancouver, Canada. Never been there before. I am going to be attending the workshop Family Constellations And Systemic Therapy with Tiziano Sguerso, a systemic practitioner and Constellations observer, whose work I have shared in this space before. He asked me to connect to my grandfather and to my mother and to take over the unconscious weight of his anger that she was carrying until she died, that was so crystallized, I developed kidney stones the next day. It took six months, and I was able to connect the dots during therapy sessions with Mark Jones. Everything coming from the subconscious, revealing itself through the body, has been quite a magical year for me in that sense. I am offering myself the space and opportunity to keep integrating ancestral trauma that I have been carrying without my consent, and now that I have awareness, I am just releasing it and allowing new space to emerge, and the sky is offering the same invitation to all of us.
There is a sequence worth noting. Venus crossed Chiron on the 26th of March, and at that time the Sun was conjunct Saturn, so there was some initial light given to what is the structure that needs to have integrity, that needs to have fluidity in our lives. Where, how are we going to find that shape? Then the new moon in Aries was conjunct Chiron on the 17th of April. Mercury passed that same point on May the 2nd. And now Mars is joining Chiron at this new moon in Taurus on May the 16th. One by one, each planet moving through the same wound. The wound of individuality. The sensibility that does not allow you to take space for your own Selfhood because you are afraid of being cast out or told that you do not belong, or you are told to behave in a very restrictive way. You are still afraid of taking that space and speaking up.
This new moon is in Taurus, a fixed sign. And what the rest of the zodiac is telling us is that if there is no space to breathe, if there is no space to calibrate, then the society and the bodies stagnate. Taurus is the fixed earth sign of embodiment, resources, and what the body holds. For seven years Uranus was in Taurus rupturing all of that, the nervous system, the material ground, the sense of what is stable and what is owned and what is valuable. That disruption is now complete. Uranus has moved into Gemini, into the air, into the mind and communication and the nervous system as information rather than as shock. So this new moon in Taurus is the first one in seven years where the body is no longer being ruptured from within. The ground is stabilizing. Mercury in Taurus with the new moon is the mind slowing down to meet the body, thinking through the senses rather than through abstraction. Ceres in Taurus is the principle of nourishment, of what feeds and sustains, of the cycles of giving and receiving that the earth itself embodies. And tensegrity is not only metabolizing the disruption. It is acting with precision. The rotation returning. The water in the matrix beginning to circulate again after the dryness. Uranus in Gemini nearby means the liberation is still present but it has moved from the body into the voice, into what is now free to be spoken that could not be spoken before.
And this is where Pluto retrograde in Aquarius enters. Pluto just went retrograde, returning to dwell in the question of what does it mean to be individual in the context of a collective or a tribe. Where do I yield my power to others and where do I stand on my boundaries in a healthy way. This is a big question.
A devotional ritual involving the presentation of items like lights, flowers, incense, water, and food to the Triple Gem—the Buddha, Dhamma (teachings), and Sangha (monastic community)
