
Their Absence is my Presence
I talk to my mom all the time. Even after her passing, I could hear and feel her deeply. Over time, the constant sense of her nearby presence would bring tears—tears of immense love, the same love I now have for myself.
I knew that, with time, this feeling would subdue. Not fade away, but become a constant, integrated part of me.
A few weeks ago, I asked her if she was around because I wasn't sensing her presence. She responded that if I wanted to feel her, I should be near my siblings. She said, 'I am in them too.'
My Taoist and Buddhist teachers taught me that we are half our parents. We carry half mom and half dad. Today, I felt them both deeply.
My mom is my joy, my wit, my mischiefs, my attempts at new ventures, and my courage. My dad has a different flow. His energy is piercing, intense, a seeker. Since his absence became my presence, I've felt this fire in me, guiding journeys of contemplation and the pursuit of freedom in the form of truth, my truth.
Together in me, Monika, they whispered in unison during my breathwork, and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.
I don't need anything I don't value. I don't expect anything that doesn't belong to me—neither in situations, persons, nor things. The freedom to know that I am going, I don't know where, but I know it is happening. Since the last eclipse redirected me, I trust it is all within me.
My gig: Accelerated evolution:
I sense that many in the world are torn inside out. I reflect on the discrepancies, divisions, and the sense of chaos. Integrating polarities is a constant harmonic venture. Synthesizing doesn't always mean leaning 100 percent to one side of the scale; it may involve creating a deep connection, listening to oneself, and finding the right balance with the other.
Today, the South Node of the Moon in Libra and Venus (Gate 32) share a sweet embrace—a gentle reminder of enduring principles in relational values, even amidst change.
My natal Mars, in opposition next to the North Node (Gate 42), rules the transiting Chiron in Aries—a perfect choreography applying the laws of harmonics with the maturity to cultivate growth through mediation. This propels me with all the courage I never felt ready to use, as the purpose reveals itself through inner vision.
Relational values are a deep observation of the landscape from the outside, guiding the choice of when to enter and become a significant part of it.
With a Moon in Scorpio (MC-9th house) and Pluto in Virgo in my 8th house, I've learned that unless I become self-reliant, no one will save me, nor need to save me. Intimate relationships or partnerships have hindered my ability to create a healthy relationship with my needs and values.
I achieved this by living through its polarity point, Taurus, Venus, and the second house ruled by Neptune. An essential part was isolating myself from relationships that were too close. I wanted to experience the relationship with myself without addiction to substances, things, or persons. I learned that I can't manipulate outcomes; I have to be sincere to feel the power of transformation. The intention was set before my birth, and I made sure to remember it, completing a period of transition.
My evolution is through my emotional body, so my choices need space for clarity. Trust issues were severely violated in the past. With Uranus close in a balsamic aspect to Pluto and ruling my ascendant and South Node, it adds an extra kick to my intention to solely individuate!
If at times I choose aloofness, it's not that I don't care; in fact, I care too much. I need space to respond or not to what lies outside of me and what I am relating to.
The others: mathematikoi + akousmatikoi
Inspiring the collective at an individual level, teaching value and individuation via Polymathēs1, many listeners and learners2 intermingle in common and singular spaces, evolving through curiosity, discipline, inquiry, and joy.
I was born with four planets in retrograde, I find that this accelerates my soul’s evolution, questioning the status quo and the consensus. It becomes the basis for the soul's desire to break free, to revise, recreate, or relive something already known that yearns to be transformed.
Individuation is not necessary only for people with retrogrades, but for all souls. Lately, I feel like I am back in school, running around the steps of knowledge from one subject to the next, asking questions, doing homework, rehashing my frontal cortex with new data.
In the preceding year and the forthcoming months, both Jupiter in Taurus and Saturn in Pisces revisit their positions in my chart. Forming a supportive sextile, mirroring my natal alignment, they initially met at 0* Aquarius in December 2020. Now, they create sextile to provide support between material expansion and restraint.
Saturn positioned between the boundless nature of Pisces and the grounded energy of Jupiter in Earthy Taurus, they fabricate a framework for gradual and consistent growth.
Occupying my 1st and third houses, I've thoroughly delved into new practical aspects, reshaping how I perceive myself and paving the way for enduring benefits for others. The decisions and plans laid out last year during the nodes' transit through Scorpio-Taurus, focusing on understanding energy, value, money, economy, sound, vibrations, bitcoin and harmonics, are now crystallizing in my consciousness. They are shaping pathways to serve the collective in the years ahead, extending beyond my artistic endeavors that continue to stir my heart.
This constructive journey, balancing practicality with discovery, underscores the significance of education. This remarkable energy, accessible to all until approximately the end of February 2024, encouraging you to identify and derive pleasure from simple things that expand consciousness and deepen the relationship with source, offering tangible ways to actively engage with the world.
Chernikhov operated in what could be best described as a ‘laboratory of ideas.’ His sketches were experiments, each one probing the boundaries of form, function, and feasibility. They were not meant to be final products but starting points, catalysts for further exploration and innovation. In this sense, his unbuilt works were not failures but successful experiments that yielded valuable data, data that architects and designers have been mining for decades.
~Bahram H Yousefi, Dr. Techn. Iakov Chernikhov: The Unbuilt Architect Who Defined 20th-Century Modernism
The Invisible Blueprint: Our uniqueness
At times,I find that certain artists adeptly convey similar ideas or exemplify them even more effectively through their enduring legacy. One such figure is Yakov Chernikhov, a pioneering architect and theoretician who introduced his pedagogical system, Eksprimatika3. This set of rules for new drawing principles is grounded in symmetry, rhythm, and the interplay of component parts, constructions, and colors.
In the 1920s, Chernikhov established the Research and Experimental Laboratory of Architectural Forms and Methods with the aim of imparting a "lighter method of the teaching of drawing and its laws."
This endeavor surpassed mere instruction in the art of drawing; it aimed to fortify students' independence of thought—a concept that challenged Soviet discipline and stirred complications for the artist in the 1930s. It's precisely this independence of thought that distinguished the Russian avant-garde as a uniquely transformative movement of its time. Chernikhov, the 'architect-composer,'staunchly believed in the liberating power of art to free the mind.
Another exceptional educator in the realm of art was Josef Albers. Albers expressed that the primary goal of his classes was to "open their eyes." Cultivating an environment where students weren't mere recipients of information; he urged them to delve into the realm of color and materials, challenging them to unearth possibilities through exploration and inquiry. Beyond imparting knowledge, Albers embraced a hands-on approach, providing students with assignments that encouraged active, tactile thinking.
Whether as a learner or a facilitator of experiences, I believe it's crucial to encourage exploration and experimentation, using the process as a means to integrate the journey towards individuation and the unique expression of the self.
As I shape new practices, I've already felt the integration of the best aspects of my mom and dad—the negative and positive aspects of their absent presence that I've become.
I AM OPTIMIST.
-What have you been building, shaping that will be ready to fully bloom next spring?
For Albers, colour was in constant flux. In his instruction he emphasised its relativity as material and its role in creating visual relationships, especially those causing optical estrangement. But in doing so Albers taught his students more than the interaction of colour; he instilled in them a general approach to all material and means of engaging it in design. In his teaching Albers put practice before theory and prioritised experience; ‘what counts,’ he claimed ‘is not so-called knowledge of so-called facts, but vision – seeing His focus was process.
~JEFFREY SALETNIK Josef Albers, Eva Hesse, and the Imperative of Teaching

NOTE: I might skip one week as I'll be in Las Vegas volunteering for my third Bitcoin conference this year. More details on what I'm brewing will be shared soon.
Acquaintance with many branches of learning.
Two groups existed within early Pythagoreanism: the mathematikoi ("learners") and the akousmatikoi ("listeners"). The akousmatikoi are traditionally identified by scholars as "old believers" in mysticism, numerology, and religious teachings; whereas the mathematikoi are traditionally identified as a more intellectual, modernist faction who were more rationalist and scientific.
The best form of graphic expression.