Is there a kingdom in the sky?
In the ministry of presence
Is there a kingdom in the sky?
I woke up in the middle of the night,
I have been waiting for a sign…
To trust in life.
To feel the connection to the above and the below.
Yesterday, deep feelings of endings and the eternal doubt of not knowing drowned me in tears.
I could not stop crying.
Last night I watched “Father Stu”, a movie about meaning, faith, and a thirst for connection to a higher existence.
Before dawn, I woke up and reached for my phone, and saw a message on the screen. I could not read well, I was looking for my glasses. Once I connected to my waking body through my breathing exercises, moments of silence, and then some humming, I picked up my phone again and looked for the message.
And there it was, a gesture of kindness, a reply to a comment I made on Youtube from all places, from the man himself. Nick Cave the polymath, the songwriter, the singer, the writer, the ceramist, the human, the one that bears his deep pain on his chest and shows strength as vulnerability.
A few days ago I listened on repeat to this new track he created with the genius of Warren Ellis that touched me deeply, so I conveyed a message of love by posting two words.
Hauntingly beautiful
In the reply he wrote:
Whether it was him, his assistant, or a troll who responded, it did not matter, the warm feeling in my heart was of the essence. The connection to spirit through a gesture of kindness was the sign I needed this morning.
I am wearing a smile as I write, for I had found it difficult to write the last two weeks as I trashed article after article deeming them not good enough, or not worthy of your time. The value comes from a moment of recognition that in this life no matter the suffering, there is always light that is felt as Love.
Thank you, Nick,
Forever seeing your light.
Grace, a state of grace
The air feels eerie,
for I can smell the winds of change,
I lay down and cry.
Oh, I know that I signed up for this!
The suffering is felt.
The separation from spirit,
a difficult sensation,
felt by every soul
Forever time and again.
weeping for the unknown
Surrender in awe.
The light appears briefly
in the form of a word,
A gesture,
A song,
A film,
Shaping the hearts of despair for the brief moment of doubt.
All it needs,
a proof,
A connection...
Therefore as I yearn
far for the unreachable,
I sing a song.
A song of Devotion,
The way to bear this journey.
Oh my lord!
Dwelling within the longing of the absolute,
The Sublime,
The Absurd,
The Liminal.
Heaven and Earth
The Trinity,
A synthesis
felt through suffering,
The magician eliminates all spells
With the passion
To Surrender
A compass draws 36, and 72-degree angles,
Around a blank page
looking to connect to the cosmic geo-metric wisdom
of numbers, and codes
DeCipher it my dear
One source of it all.
I hear the spoken words a thousand times
Is there a kingdom in the sky?
I prayed for a sign,
While Listening to the latest book
A spoken pair of voices.
As a sign of faith, hope and carnage,
Synchronicities unfold
Father Stu felt it as an invitation through Virgin Mary’s reaching hand.
I woke up to find:
-how are you?
as my comment Haungtingly beautiful caught your attention.
you felt,
you noticed,
you just simply asked...
A Feeling,
A Knowing,
The kingdom that connects us all is within.
---
Below is a clip I just captured from the book, Nick answers a question to Sean O’Hagan somewhere around chapter 2:
August 17, 2022: Monika’s -never sent question- to Nick for The Red Hand Files
I found it on my phone, uncompleted,and buried in the notes. Here is what I scribbled:
Hi Nick, this is Monika,
I must remember to be kind, I must remember to be kind…
A phrase you repeat at least three times as a voice-over in the film This time with feeling
Are you smiling again? Have you found your way back to kindness?
I know the pain
What would be a gesture of kindness today?
-Would have been my question, the one I never sent to The Red Hand Files
Today the answer was woven in many forms, in your comment, in your book, and in the movie watching what Father Stu felt as love when he encountered his State of Grace.
We all have those magical moments, don’t we? they come unexpectedly! Happy solar return Dear Nick, your creative soul has inspired me since 1989 when I watched you perform live for the first time in Athens, Greece.
Based on my last article, a new opening has emerged today, to dissolve the anger I feel towards the church, and find a way to connect with the feeling of awe bypassing the corrupted institutions.
All synchronistic events are connected within 24 hours, 4 days, and 4 weeks.
The feeling of loss, as I make conscious decisions to leave behind attitudes, relationships, and places where my energy has stalled. After lunch, I downloaded Nick’s latest audiobook and listened to a couple of tracks as he converses with Sean O’Hagan. In the evening I watched the movie Father Stu, and I wondered, Oh the theme is apparent! I listened to pearly 4 days ago and wrote a note I never sent 4 weeks ago.
The ministry of presence - Shia LaBoeuf
Back to you dear reader, I have not abandoned this space yet, but I needed a breath or two.
-In what ways has your faith been restored as of late?
-What acts of kindness have you been served that you can remember?
-What is the meaning of your life now?
-Where can I best be of service?
It is in the universe of a gesture
Today, no astro-lingo, no Gene Keys, no Human Design, no riddles, just pure heart, I leave you with a song to listen to:
Sometimes I see a pale bird wheeling in the sky
But that is just a feeling, a feeling when you dieWhere did they go?
Where did they hide?
We don't ask who
We don't ask why
There is a kingdom in the sky
There is a kingdom in the sky
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I love Distant Sky's lines by Nick: They told us our gods would outlive us
They told us our dreams would outlive us
They told us our gods would outlive us
But they lied....But they lied.
This was very moving to read, and in sync to my experience of this moment , cut adrift, praying on a sign - thank you Monika !
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