Editor’s note: This article is in reference to a group that was created and has been archived.
This will probably be my last post in this group*.
After a long period of observation, I have noted that this attachment to sharing, which has become something of an addiction, is both impairing my journey and at the same time pointing to how I will relate to myself in the next 18 months.
I have had a relationship to sharing within this group that was undermining my capacity to feel free. With a moon in Scorpio and Pluto in my 8th house, I have to merge with “it” until I become “it” and then “I am transformed”.
The attachment was revealed because I felt anger rising- and emotions are my GPS, tools to navigate and confront what is not flowing. By noticing I had an uncomfortable relationship with distributing free information, I became aware of the codependency it was creating. The first stop of the 40 day of Venus retrograde that started 19th December 2021 and ended January 29, 2022 was to archive the group and create a relationship to my needs and consider my values.
It is not a coincidence that I opened the group at the beginning of June 2020, when the lunar nodes started cruising the archetypes of truth, philosophy, searching, expansion, religion, etc., and the collective was allowed to reflect on how these were shaping our perceptions, and somehow a transformation would take place.
Curiosity became a moment to moment stimulus, especially while the whole world entered into lockdown and I felt the need to share my experience, my practice, how my mind was being shaped by each moment- the group was a wonderful playground where some of you engaged with me gracefully and for that I am grateful.
This group also served as a way for me to practice not creating outside expectations, and instead listening to what was alive in me. My clear intention for some time has been to understand the way I commit myself to others and to things, at times creating unsafe boundaries, which has been a source of pain. These were situations that required adaptations I have needed to experience while growing up in order to survive- now these feel restraining, and I am transforming the adaptation by noticing it, becoming attentive to it, being objective, and tending to my needs.
I joined digital campfires, (online conversational and practice-oriented spaces), engaged deeper in creative circles, and created new bonds. I was no longer seeking truth or new philosophical algorithms; I was synthesizing and embodying these new perspectives — from the mind to the body through the senses.
This is what that group did for me:
I created a safe space, beyond the material, with an integral approach, that addressed “meaning” and offered an in-depth process on the actual embodiment of new perspectives. The approach led to being objective and synthesizing practical and playful applications by becoming conscious of the emotional body, which guides and drives the human experience.
In the past several years, I received training in diverse modalities such as Somatic Therapy (awareness of the felt sense), (deep listening), authentic relating using a Circling modality (a relational practice with the immediacy of presence rendering a state of flow), and Jungian shadow work (self-awareness on the psychological projections that mislead us to believe what we perceive to be real). I continued/concluded my self-inquiry practice with powerful mentors using evolutionary astrology, human design, and the Hakomi method.
I had a beautiful session yesterday with a wise soul that offered one phrase to my inquiry and it was “Stay a mystery”. That led me back to the origin of the word (mystic rite) as in the Ἐλευσίνια Μυστήρια myth of Ceres, Pluto and Persepina (Deméter — Hades and Persephone / Kori ):
Cycles of time are needed (Saturn is Kronos, is the keeper of time in this material reality) to be able to reach the darkness (Pluto/Hades is the underworld and where we confront our fears) and by looking at the pain of a caring mother (Ceres) we will find the jewel 💎 (Persephone), who comes back and plants those seeds that create an ecology of form for the next agricultural cycle. As she functions as the embodiment of spring and the personification of vegetation…
Namaste
— — The power for me is in how I confront my attachments, how I discern and be objective about them by observing and then synthesizing what needs to be done, needs to be experienced fully on a moment by moment basis -
The Venus retrograde period has ended.
The insights have been quite amazing; I will relate to sharing in a different way, creating an archive that is also a learning tool, a playful map that is alive in a non-linear narrative. I will continue to share the insights that come from this work. I became aware that I was in an attachment situation, co-dependent with the situation. By observing from the outside, and in order for it to transform, I needed to understand how I was going to relate to partaking in a new way, which opened up possibilities for a new pace, frequency, and audience. I’m transforming the dynamic without hoarding nor accumulating, just yielding towards my needs, to enjoy the new rapport.
*I posted it on January 13, 2022, 10:55 am, the moon was conjunct the lunar north node at 0 degrees of Gemini, ending an 18-month cycle, how amazing that was!
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